On Baldness

Believe it or not, being bald is something I care very little about. Why am I writing about it then? Well, because time and again everyone else seems to try to either awkwardly tip-toe around it or accidentally bring it up or tell me I still look good or whatever.

The truth is, I have been losing hair since 11th grade. I remember the day I took off my football helmet and found a clump of hair stuck to the inside padding, glued there with a mess of hair spray and sweat. I have been 100% hair free in my life. For well over a year in fact, and I am still here.

Not having a lot of hair on my head really means very little, in fact I think I look quite dashing. The issue that strikes me the most is how it appears to be seen as some kind of handicap. My grandmother sadly telling me, so and so lost his hair at a young age too, then trying to comfort me by telling me it doesn’t look so bad. A woman at a party talking about an old picture of the guest of honor, quickly back-peddling after almost saying, “Its hard to believe he used to have a full head of hair.” My parents offering to buy me hair regrowth products!

If it weren’t for everyone apparently seeing my baldness as a problem, it really wouldn’t strike me as a problem, as I have been living with it for literally over 11 years.

I guess what I’m saying is: Move along. Theres nothing to see here. Yes I know I’m bald. Have a nice day.

4 thoughts on “On Baldness”

  1. i think it makes you look debonaire…or distinguished!

    i find it far more unfortunate that you at one time used hairspray.

  2. Perhaps you can just tell your grandmother and parents that yes, indeed, it REALLY IS a solar panel for a sex machine.

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